How I Rate a Night Out: Bars, Venues and Festivals
How a Tampa Bay DJ scores nightlife: sound, booth, crowd, flow, room and value. The scorecard behind every bar, venue and festival review here.
Most nightlife writing is either a press release or a star rating that tells you nothing. Four stars for what? The drinks? The people? The sound? I would rather tell you what I would tell a friend who asked where to go on Saturday.
I am a DJ and producer out of Tampa Bay, so I look at a night out a little differently than most people. I notice whether the bass reaches the back of the room, whether the DJ can see the floor and how long it takes to get a drink. Those details decide whether a night is great or just fine.
This site is going to carry honest reviews of bars, venues and festivals, starting close to home and going wherever I end up. Every review uses the same scorecard, so you can compare one place to the next.
The scorecard
Each place gets a score from 1 to 5 in six categories, for a total out of 30.
| Category | What I am looking for |
|---|---|
| Sound | Clean, loud and even across the whole room |
| The booth | A DJ who can see the floor and is treated like the main event |
| The crowd | People who came for the music |
| Flow | Getting in, getting a drink and moving around without a fight |
| The room | Lighting, layout and a floor that works |
| Value | Whether I would pay that price again |
Sound
Sound comes first, because nothing makes up for bad sound. A great room sounds good everywhere, not only in front of the speakers. I walk to the back, then to the bar, then to the bathroom line. If the bass turns to mud or the highs make my ears ring, the score drops. I want to feel the low end in my chest without it hurting.
The booth
I look at the booth before I order a drink. Can the DJ see the floor? Is there room to work, or is the setup crammed behind a speaker? Places that treat the DJ like part of the furniture usually treat the music the same way. Places that build the room around the booth tend to get everything else right.
The crowd
A good crowd is there for the music. A bad one is there to be seen. You can tell within ten minutes: people face the DJ or they face their phones. I do not mind a mixed crowd. I mind a crowd that does not care what is playing.
Flow
Flow is everything that happens between you and the dance floor. How long is the line to get in? How long to get a drink? Can you get from the bar to the floor without wading through people? A forty minute bar line is a bad review, no matter how good the DJ is.
The room
Lighting, layout and ceiling height matter more than people think. I want a room dark enough to lose yourself in and bright enough that you can still see the floor. Lights that move with the music beat lights that just stay on. A bad shape, like a long tube or a pillar in the middle of the floor, loses points even when everything else is right.
Value
Value does not mean cheap. A ten dollar drink is fine in a room that earns it. A cover charge for a half empty room with weak sound is not. I ask one question: would I pay that again?
The ground rules
- I only review places I have actually been, and I will say when I went.
- No paid placements. If a venue comped my entry or a drink, I will say so.
- Places change owners, sound systems and crowds, so I will go back and update scores.
- I will say what I would change, not only what I liked.
What is next
Reviews of bars, venues and festivals, starting in Tampa Bay and then wherever the music takes me.
I am DJ JohnVon. You can book me right here or head back to the home page.